5 Hidden Signals You May Be Sending
Whether you (or they!) know it, other people are always reading your
body language for secret clues about you. Find out what your gestures
and movements are saying with these expert insights.
1. Eye contact
If you want your body language to show
you're listening to another person, make eye contact. But limit it: An
overly aggressive eye lock can be read as threatening. "When you give
more than 80 percent, the person you are communicating with will feel
uncomfortable," explains Janine Driver, author of the
New York Times best seller
You Can't Lie to Me.
Give too little (40 percent or less) and it can be a sign of deceit.
The magic number? 60 percent, or a little more than half. "Give them eye
contact, then slightly glance away."
2. Crossed arms
Crossing your arms? Others may read that
to mean you're distant, insecure, anxious, defensive, or stubborn,
according to Barbara and Allen Pease in
The Definitive Book of Body Language.
But
arm crossing has its pluses, too. Driver points out that it can make
someone better at sticking to a difficult task, citing a study that
found adults who crossed their arms and then were asked hard math
questions were 30 percent more likely to keep trying to solve them than
those who kept their hands on a table. "The act of crossing your arms
utilizes both your left and right brain, creating higher cognitive
function," says Driver.
So the next time you confront someone
with a tough question and they cross their arms, don't assume you've
made them mad; they might just be trying to come up with an answer.
3. Sitting with legs spread
Driver says when you sit like this you're
marking your territory and exuding dominance. "People with power are
seen to take up more space," she says.
4. Crossed legs
If you sit with your legs crossed, ankle
over knee, you're confident and dominate, says Driver. Known as "figure
four" in body language circles, Driver says when you sit in this
position you're opening up your "power zone," or the nether region. "We
have three areas on our body where we open up when we are stress-free
and relaxed: the neck dimple, belly button, and 'naughty bits,'" she
says. It's a predominantly male movement but Driver says women are
beginning to sit like this more and more.
Crossing your legs at
the ankles while seated is known as the "ankle lock" and can mean you're
holding back, uncertain, or fearful, making it common in interview
situations.
And ladies, if you want to appeal to a man, cross
your legs at the knees. According to the Peases, men voted this their
favorite position for seated women.
5. Standing with hands on hips
You might think the "Superman pose" shows
off your confident side, but beware, because Driver says this stance
can often come off as aggressive. That's because you're taking up more
space and
"threatening" with your pointed elbows,
preventing others from getting by you. Even propping just one hand on
your hip can give off an intimidating vibe, say the Peases.
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