We all want to feel more confident in ourselves and our abilities, and nowhere more so than at work.
Modern workers often define themselves by their careers and workplace successes are key to our self worth, so it's no wonder that lacking confidence at the office can harm your self-esteem and your chances.
We asked confidence expert Robert Kelsey, author of What’s Stopping You Being More Confident? for his top 10 tips for workplace confidence:
Confidence doesn't always come naturally, but there are plenty of ways to boost it [REX]
1. Assume you’re not being exploited. Nothing undermines confidence more quickly than the gnawing feeling of exploitation. We become sullen and resentful: a position from which we’re unlikely to gain anything other than the sack. So, no matter what the circumstances, we should see our role as an apprenticeship for the next level. Of course, this is an impossible thing to achieve without a plan...
2. Work out what you want. Feelings of exploitation often come from having no plan for our future. If we have a plan we can also see how our current role fits in. If we’re on a clear path ahead – great, we’re motivated to work and improve, which will work wonders for our confidence. If our plan tells us we’re on the wrong path, that can also be great. We can at least see where we need to be and start calculating what’s required to get there. That said, you need patience.
Modern workers often define themselves by their careers and workplace successes are key to our self worth, so it's no wonder that lacking confidence at the office can harm your self-esteem and your chances.
We asked confidence expert Robert Kelsey, author of What’s Stopping You Being More Confident? for his top 10 tips for workplace confidence:
Confidence doesn't always come naturally, but there are plenty of ways to boost it [REX]1. Assume you’re not being exploited. Nothing undermines confidence more quickly than the gnawing feeling of exploitation. We become sullen and resentful: a position from which we’re unlikely to gain anything other than the sack. So, no matter what the circumstances, we should see our role as an apprenticeship for the next level. Of course, this is an impossible thing to achieve without a plan...
2. Work out what you want. Feelings of exploitation often come from having no plan for our future. If we have a plan we can also see how our current role fits in. If we’re on a clear path ahead – great, we’re motivated to work and improve, which will work wonders for our confidence. If our plan tells us we’re on the wrong path, that can also be great. We can at least see where we need to be and start calculating what’s required to get there. That said, you need patience.
3. Don’t undermine yourself. Underwhelmed by their role, many (especially bright) people commit self-sabotage. They become the joker or the trouble-maker, or perhaps part of what I call the “moaning canteen gang”. Despite appearances, such roles will ultimately wreck your confidence because – rather than tackle your fears (perhaps that you’re incapable of moving up to the next level) – you’re avoiding them, and adopting a mask to hide behind.
4. Get on top of the material. There’s no escaping this – if you struggle to understand the technicalities of your role, you will feel overwhelmed and fail to gain confidence. Invest the time (your own if necessary) to get on top of both your employer’s role in the world and your role within it. If you feel you’ve missed something (which could make you too embarrassed to go back and ask a potentially stupid question), go online and do your research, or find a trusted confidante. Indeed, confidence is often described as “self-efficacy”, which means having both the self-belief and the skills required to do what you need to get ahead.
Researching your company and your role can give you the back up knowledge you need to be confident [REX]5. Learn to delegate. This is a must for confidence because, if you cannot delegate to others – perhaps through fear of “making yourself redundant” – you’ll stay stuck, bogged down with too many tasks, while those around you progress. One trick is to “sharpen the saw” as Stephen Covey suggests. This means investing time in teaching others the more mundane jobs within your remit, which frees you for the “get noticed” creative tasks. Retaining the drudgery because “it’ll be quicker if I do it” simply bolts you to the floor while freeing others to rise.
6. Learn to persuade. Delegating involves an element of persuasion. How do you get someone to do something they’re reluctant to do?
First, make it theirs. Help them “own” the task by not micro-managing their process. Instead, help them develop their vision of the result, and let them find their own route. But also listen intently, especially if you felt ignored when in the same position. Listening helps develop “belief alignment” between you both that will powerfully influence them, and support your confidence.
7. Give compliments. The insecure seek compliments, while the confident give them. So make sure you’re on the right side of this equation and lay it on with a trowel. Sure, going over-the-top on acclamation may feel cheesy, but just watch the impact it has on the receiver. Indeed, this is a brilliant way of dealing with difficult people (and they exist in every workplace). Try being nice to them: not only will it disarm them, it’ll have them begging for more – putting you in the driving seat.
8. Work with your boss. No matter how pompous or irritating or controlling you think your boss, you need to work with him or her rather than against. Battling with your boss is a one-way street for undermining your confidence. One trick, offered by Richard Carlson (Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff), is to “develop your compassion”. Your boss will have agonies and concerns just as great as your own, so work out what these are and how you can help ease them. At that point your goals are aligned.
Giving compliments rather than seeking them helps make you feel more confident [REX]But also make sure you’re on the right path – executing your plan. It just might be that the reason you dislike your boss is because you feel trapped on the wrong path, which is your concern, not theirs (though they may help, if you help them achieve their goals).
9. Learn to present well. Whether in meetings or presentations your every utterance will be judged by your colleagues, as will your silence, which is scary and confidence-sapping indeed. Yet we can all learn presentation techniques, whether its generating attractive slides, keeping it brief, pacing our delivery, overcoming eye-contact concerns, smiling, or even accepting criticism without being derailed (the true sign of a confident person).
There’s no alchemy, though – again – it’s important to be on top of the material.
10. Plan your meetings. These are key moments in any job. So make sure you’re on top of the agenda, know your material and – importantly – know what you want to achieve from every meeting. Even if you don’t achieve it, you’ll have a benchmark for the next meeting.
And make the other participants feel important: nothing gives off confident signals more than outwardly appreciating the contribution of others – both junior and senior.
Robert Kelsey’s book What’s Stopping You Being More Confident? is out now, Capstone publishing, £10.99.
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